From A Father's Perspective

The Father & Doula, Partners in Labor
There was a time when fathers were portrayed as anxious, floor-pacing, cigar smoking men who were tolerated in the hospital corridors until the long-awaited moment when a nurse would announce that they were the proud father of a son or daughter.  Today's expectant fathers are much different.

When it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting, today's father wants to share everything with his partner.  He wants to be actively involved, ease his partner's labor pain, welcome his baby at the moment of birth, and help care for his newborn at home.  A labor doula can help a father experience this special time with confidence. 

Today a father's participation in birth preparation classes or his presence at prenatal visits and in the delivery room is a familiar occurance.  Yet, sometimes we forget that the expectations of his role as a "Labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill.  Sometimes it is also culturally inapporpriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the process of labor and birth. 

The father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate for his partner in an environment and culture he is unfamiliar with.  A doula can provide the information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the laboring woman, her partner and medical care providers.

At times a father may not understand a woman's instinctive behavior during childbirth and may react anxiously to what doulas know to be the natural process of birth. He may witness his partner in pain and understandably become distressed.  The doula can be reassuring and skillfully help the mother to cope with labor pain in her own unique way.  The father-to-be may need to accompany his partner to surgery should a cesarean become necessary.  Not all fathers can realistically be expected to "coach" at this intense level.

Many fathers are eager to be involved during labor and birth.  Others, no less loving or commited to their partner's well being find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters.  With a doula the father can share in the birth at the level that he is most comfortable with.  The doulas skills and knowledge can help the father feel more relaxed.  If the father wants to provide physical comfort such as a back massage, change of positions, and help his partner to stay focused during contractions, the doula can provide the guidance and make suggestions for what may work best. 

Physicians, midwives and nurses are responsible for monitoring labor, assesing the medical condition of the mother and baby, and treating complications when they arise.  But childbirth is also an emotional and spiritual experience with a long-term impact on a mothers well-being.  A doula is constantly aware that the mother and her partner will remember this experience throughout their lives.  By "mothering the mother" during childbirth the doula supports the parents in having a positive and memorable birth experience.

The benefits of doula care have been recognized worldwide.  The Medical Leadership Council of Washington, D.C., the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada and the World Health Organization are among the many healthcare organizations that value the benefits that doulas provide women in labor.

The fathers presence and loving support at childbirth is comforting and reassuring.  The love he shares with his mother and his child, his needs to nuture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide.  With her partner and a doula at birth a mother can have the best of both worlds:  her partner's loving care and attention and the doula's expertise and guidance in childbirth. 

*Taken from D.O.N.A. 2001